The Haggler
by David Segal
In this week’s episode, a rare twofer. That’s right. Two aggrieved consumers, one action-stuffed column. While the rest of the world offers less for more, the Haggler delivers more for the exact same price. Pretty sweet, isn’t it?
“Not really,” the Haggler can hear you say. The length of the column is exactly the same. In what sense is this more, nitwit?
The Haggler does not appreciate your attitude, dear reader. It’s stinting! But he won’t try to change your mind. Instead, he will present this double-barreled, heat-seeking missile — a phrase that is a disgraceful mix of both metaphors and hardware — and hope to demonstrate generosity of spirit and good value.
At least by comparison to the companies featured here.
Q. I was a Time Warner Cable customer for over 13 years, until I finally got fed up and closed my account. The problem is that my monthly bill would fluctuate. Mostly, it went up. By $18 one month, $5 another. Once in a while it actually went down a bit.
I finally called T.W.C. for answers and was told that its computers generate the bills, so it wasn’t able to give me an explanation. I was speechless. When I regained my speech, I asked the customer service rep if I was the only person who found this unacceptable and absurd. There was complete silence.
